**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
