i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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