Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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