You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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