It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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