Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize