Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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