I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
