it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my sisters under your porch take her home
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
