Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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