I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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