Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
