How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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