I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
