Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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