How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Let's get the cat blown out
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
