I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
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it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
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Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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