Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
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Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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