only you would photoshop your dick
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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