i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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