wake up i wanna do it froggy style
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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