i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
