I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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