It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
