so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
