hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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