I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
