I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
