The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
