friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
