There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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