I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
