I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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