So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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