K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize