Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
