that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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