dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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