im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
