I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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