I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
