After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
