her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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