Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
