I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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