The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
