i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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