I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She's the barista slut.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
