he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Pants are for mortals
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
