it's great music for shaving your balls
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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