just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
