I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
