You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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