your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
