I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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