just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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