Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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