It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize