she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
