come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize