God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize