Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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