i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
