I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
