its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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