My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
